It’s Valentine’s Week, which means kids are getting really excited, moms are getting really annoyed and husbands are doing a lot of forgetting.

Funny how Valentine’s Day tends to be another holiday where we start to worry about other people rather than caring for ourselves. The word holiday, broken down means holy day and Dictionary.com offers up two great definitions:

  1. a day fixed by law or custom on which ordinary business is suspended in commemoration of some event or in honor of some person
  2. a time or period of exemption from any requirement, duty, assessment, etc.

Rather than benefitting from the exemption part, we’re expected to add more into our already full day in honor of love.

My guess is that very few of us take time to love ourselves.

My ongoing twisted journey to love

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently about my work and life. I’m feeling stuck and unsure of where to go next. This is frustrating though (more so than usual) because I seem to find myself in the same spot every few months. I keep taking paths only to find out that I don’t want to be on that particular path. And so I turn around and head back. But I’ve gone down so many paths at the same time that I’ve just gotten confused and now I can’t find my way back home. If there is a graphic artist out there who could draw up that picture, I’d love to hang it next to my desk as a constant reminder never to do that again. For some reason I have an image of multiple confused black cats in my mind. Style is Picasso.

Anyway.

It dawned on me the other day that the reason I keep changing my mind about what I want to do is because I haven’t yet hit on what it is I really want to do. I’ll get behind my work 100% when my work speaks to me and motivates me and inspires me. Right now, the pieces aren’t lined up in the right place. There’s something missing.

And that something is me.

All my life, I’ve done what others have expected of me. And I’m darn good at it. That got boring after a while, so I tried to go it alone. That’s fun, except that everyone still has expectations and it is now my job to prove everyone wrong. The pressure is too much. Plus, I’m still trying to be like everyone else. I’m somewhat ashamed to admit that I’m a big bandwagon jumper. I like trendy new things, which is fine, except that I like them so much I try to be like them. Every single one of them. And I’ve lost me along the way.

Shiny isn’t always best

My enthusiasm for shiny and new and cool and trendy can best be described from this brief and comical exchange between my boyfriend and me. A few years ago I saw a commercial for the Soda Stream. I went online to look it up because I thought the product design was sleek and the idea was cool. I got really excited that someone had invented a machine where you could make your own soda. I called my boyfriend into the office to check out the website and apparently was overly animated and excited about this new discovery. I maybe said something along the lines of “This is so cool, I want this.”

Truth be told, I did not want it. I just wanted to be cool and innovative like it. My boyfriend ended up buying it for my birthday. It was sweet (and totally my fault), but I don’t drink soda, so on a practical level I had no use for this cool machine whatsoever. I kept it around the house for a couple years out of guilt – it spent quite a large amount of that time at my boyfriend’s house – but they didn’t drink soda either. Eventually, I sold it on Craigslist.

While my excitement and energy is admirable, it’s also not wise from a business standpoint.

The LOVE Life survey

To help guide me in my current endeavors, I decided to create a survey. (Please take it! I’m giving away a $50 Starbucks gift card to one lucky respondent and it will take you less than five minutes).

I’m hoping to tap into the wisdom of the community to help me make a few big decisions concerning the direction of my business. I’m excited to see the results and move forward.

Of course, the survey will help, but it’s not the saving grace. I’m reaching out again, instead of looking within. One of my yoga students told me a story the other day about how she did some research about the word opportunity once. I was so moved, I want to share it with you.

An opportunity: to come back home

The English word opportunity comes from the Latin word opportunus. The Latin word was created from the Latin phrase ob portum veniens, which translates to “coming toward a port.” When I heard my friend tell me this, I immediately put my hand to my heart.

Coming toward a port or seeking an opportunity is nothing but coming back home. Your port is your heart and you know what to do. You can spend a lifetime letting other people tell you what you need to do, or you can take the opportunity to go back home.

I’m committed to doing the work that needs to happen to bring me back to port. It’s time to listen to my own heart and not allow others to lead me astray. Luckily, I have my yoga practice to guide me on this journey.

This Valentine’s Day, don’t forget to go home, within your own heart and offer up some love to that dream that is burning deep inside you. Love you for who you are and your life will certainly change forever.

Don’t forget to take my survey!