Mother is a name that becomes who you are. Whether it’s mama, mommy, mom, ma, madre, or another word, when your child addresses you with his or her many needs, you can’t help but allow the moniker to sink into your bones. Motherhood is in your cells whether you want it to be or not. And it doesn’t matter how you perform—it still becomes who you are.
Motherhood is all-consuming. Your nervous system is hard-wired to hear the screams and cries of your child so that you can protect them—so much so, in fact, that the running water out of a shower head or the whisper of the wind can start to sound like your child screaming. The cries of a fox send chills down your spine because your first thought is always, “is that my child?”
Yet, motherhood is but a role you play in life. It is not who you are. You may also have a career. You may also be a wife, a sister, a partner, a daughter, or a friend. You play many roles in life and before motherhood it is mostly inconsequential how you manage them all. With kids, however, everything is different. The stakes are higher, you have more responsibility and more to worry about. The role of mother feels heavier than other roles. It’s that heaviness—its persistence—that tricks you into becoming mom while all the rest of your roles slip away into an unfamiliar terrain that feels impassable and irretrievable, if only because you’re too tired to reclaim what was once yours and yours alone.
According to Vedanta philosophy, you are not your roles. You inhabit a body and have a personality and you take on roles in society that are necessary (and hopefully appropriate, purposeful, and rewarding). But these roles don’t define who you are. The key to freedom from suffering is the realization that you are more than mom. But it’s hard to come to that realization and even harder to truly believe it, embody it, and remember it every day. That’s why asana, meditation, and breathing practices are useful. These techniques serve as tools to help you remember that you are more than your roles and titles—that there is a divine essence that lives within waiting for you to tap in.
Before motherhood
Before motherhood, yoga practice serves many purposes, many of which remain crucially important after kids, yet harder to come by. In addition to its physical benefits, yoga practice provides community and opportunities to socialize with like-minded individuals. It provides an opportunity to get to know who you are and help you grow as a person. It provides calm, peace and balance in your life. Yoga provides an opportunity to move, breathe, and be with yourself—perhaps the only time you have to disconnect from a hectic schedule filled with stress. On the mat, there is no judgement, just a chance to be as you are in the moment. You don’t have to worry.
After having kids
After you have kids, yoga practice provides an opportunity for you to reconnect to your essence, which you desperately cling onto when you have tiny human demands bombarding you every second.
When you’re a mom to young children you don’t have time to take 60 minutes out of your day three times a week. You don’t have time to go to class at 5pm because that’s when the baby feeds. Or 7pm because that’s when the baby goes to sleep. Or 9am because that’s when the baby naps and you would have to find a sitter. And then you’d have to pay them and your brain starts hurting trying to figure it all out and you just give up. If you work, then all your time is spent working at your job and the time when you don’t have to be at your job must be at home lest you die from guilt and genuine longing for not seeing your child enough.
In other words. It’s a lot to figure out how to get to yoga class when you’re a mom. That’s why yoga practice after kids looks a whole lot like…not much.
Your yoga practice evolves with the phases of your life
It’s not that you don’t want to go to yoga. You want nothing more than to go to yoga again. You just can’t figure out how to make it happen. Maybe you make it happen once in a blue moon but then you can’t figure out how to string together enough blue moons in succession to feel like you’re making any real progress.
Someday, 60-minute studio classes will come back to you. But that is not the phase of life you’re in right now. It’s easier to just let it go (and hey, that’s what yoga is all about anyway, right!) Right.
You do need yoga more than ever. You just need to practice in a different way.
Your Yoga Mom yoga practice
Coming back to yoga practice after kids is not all about “getting your body back.” It doesn’t matter that you’ve forgotten how to breathe or you’re no longer flexible because you’ve been hunched over in a fetal position playing defense on life. Of course you might be physically different after giving birth, but yoga practice offers new and different lessons for mothers that go beyond the physical.
Strengthen your mental and emotional muscles
Motherhood requires you to build incredible mental and emotional strength. Yoga practice offers that! Showing up for you is an act of self-care unmatched by any other exercise or workout routine. Carving out the time to meet you on the mat, regardless of what form that takes, is what mothers need more than anything. You need to tap back into your divine essence that defines you beyond your role as mother. You need to tap into that reservoir of creativity and divinity that allows you to step into your roles with more strength, patience, and confidence. You need to know that you are supported by the divine and that you have the support of real human friends, teachers, and mentors, too. Yoga practice offers all of that.
Learn how to show up for you
Motherhood changes your yoga practice because who and what you’re showing up for changes. Before kids showing up on the mat was about how it made you feel in the moment. After class you sensed a tangible change that spiked your dopamine and had you feeling good for the day. You checked off “go to yoga” on your to-do list and gave yourself a mental star for getting your workout in. After kids, yoga practice makes you feel good about yourself but more importantly it also fills your cup. Your “mom” cup is often on the verge of being empty. It doesn’t matter if you’re doing Downdog, handstands, stretchy Yin poses, restorative backbends on blocks, or falling asleep in yoga nidra. All that matters is that you show up. Give yourself the opportunity to tap back into your divine nature and remember you are more than mom. You have skills, interests, and potential beyond what is required of you at the snack table. You are more than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, goldfish crackers, playdates, musical toys, and nap schedules.
Tapping into your divinity is less tangible, which makes it harder to show up for. It feels good but its effects aren’t always immediate. When you show up for you, you show up hours, days, even weeks later. You show up when you’re able to be patient with your kids when they’re not listening, when you can laugh off your child drawing all over your floors, or let go of the doctor appointment that you forgot about. When you show up for you the crazy stuff that happens all day long doesn’t create an emotional geyser ready to erupt.
The best part is that showing up for you doesn’t require a formal 60-minute class in a studio. All that is required is you giving yourself the gift of a few minutes of space. In that space you can do what you wish. You can move, you can sit, you can breathe. You can write, you can walk, you can do nothing.
Reconnect with why it all matters
Being a mom means it is more important than ever that you find that inner connection to something greater. That portal to something more that inspires, motivates, and rejuvenates and helps you overcome the monotony of daily chores, cleaning dishes, and doing laundry. When you don’t want those things to define you, yet you still have to do them every day to function, you need some other source of inspiration to remind you why it all matters.
Yoga practice offer the potential for you to see the why. The practice helps you shift your mindset and remind you that your challenges may be obstacles but they can also be givers of energy, presence, and bliss. It’s worth it to live in connection, rhythm, and alignment, even though it’s hard to do. When connected with these qualities in your life, you live with purpose and intention, fully open to give and receive love.
Every moment of your day is an opportunity to tune in. What are you willing to show up for? Who are you willing to show up for? And what will you find when you show up?
It’s not about you, it’s about you.
I believe women have more to offer than their role of mother and that it is important they show their children the beauty of living in alignment with purpose through the constant pursuit of potential and possibility. To create well, you need to feel supported, loved, and capable. You need to be nurtured and loved. And you need to love your Self.
Motherhood changes you because it’s no longer about you anymore. It’s about you. Never is it more important to be connected to source than when you are a mother. You need source energy to thrive. Living well is not about surviving. It’s about joy, connection, love, and bliss—even (especially) in moments of uncertainty, doubt, fear, and sadness.
You need to be divine, mother.
You already are. It’s just a matter of remembering, embodying, and embracing.
It’s not selfish because it’s not about you. Your divinity flows through to your children, your partner, your family, your friends. They see your radiance, your glow, the ease and they unconsciously pick up on that.
Motherhood changes you but it doesn’t change you. Refresh your mindset and find a way to fit your yoga practice into your phase of life to continue benefitting from its life-giving, soul-nurturing qualities.
Your Self, your partner, your kids, your friends, your world will thank you.
If you’re interested in (re)starting a yoga practice, consider signing up for the Yoga Mom Online Studio. Your first week is free!
