A common question I get is how did I become a yoga instructor. Recently, I was doing some reflecting about how I got to be where I am today, and while it seems like I somehow arrived here accidentally, when I look closely, in a subtle yet magical way, it all makes complete sense.
For starters, we all are exactly where we are supposed to be either because you believe in an omnipresent organizing power up above or because on a more rational level you take responsibility for the many choices you’ve made in your life and those choices have led you to here.
Whatever you believe, or if you believe a little bit of both, it can be helpful to reflect on the choices you’ve made throughout the years that led you to right now.
My choices through the years
For me, I always thought it started when I experienced my “enough-is-enough” moment of excruciating chronic pain that had me in the hospital getting heart tests because I was certain I was having a heart attack at age 21. Turns out I was just stressed. This pivotal moment in my life was the catalyst that led me toward healthy living but truly, there were more subtle shifts I didn’t even recognize until now that had happened way before that.
I’ll give you an abbreviated breakdown to give you an idea of how far back I’m able to go without launching into a novel about my life.
2002 – The first pivotal decision I remember making was not to play soccer in high school. I had played soccer for a while by then, at least since 5th grade, but when the coach told us our conditioning training required us to run 3 miles every morning I walked out. In case you hadn’t heard, I hate running. I decided to play golf instead. What I realize now is that I knew what I wanted and I knew what I was good at. Turns out that’s a valuable skill to have.
2003 – I broke my femur. This was the first time I experienced a panic attack. Those kept turning up for me until at least the end of college. They were not fun. This was one of the many events that triggered me to learn how to heal naturally. I used deep breathing to get myself out of them.
2005 – I was set on going to Northwestern for college. All of my friends were applying to 5 (or even 10) schools, and I only wanted to apply to one. Risky, maybe, but I knew exactly where I wanted to go and what I wanted to study. Again, I knew what I wanted and I followed through. It wasn’t until my dad decided to take us on a ski trip out west and decided we should stop by the University of Colorado campus just to get a taste of what a college campus tour might be like that my unwavering commitment to Northwestern diminished slightly. The moment I stepped on the University of Colorado campus, something shifted. Perhaps it was an accident that my dad took us there, but it was meant to be. I went to Boulder. While my mind might have changed, I at least kept an open mind. My time in Boulder would help me open up my mind even more.
2007 – I experienced the first real death of a close family member in my life when my grandfather passed away. While sad, it also was a reminder to carry on his legacy, which was one of entrepreneurialism, hard work, and family first. It’s no surprise that as grandchildren of a restaurant owner I am an entrepreneur and my sister is a food scientist. It’s in our blood.
2008 – I first experienced unexplainable physical pain brought on by stress. This time, my neck hurt because, get this, I was studying too hard. I spent the majority of my waking hours looking down at a computer screen or reading a book. The doctors prescribed muscle relaxants but I’ve never been one for taking medicine, mostly because I couldn’t swallow pills, so I opted for a more long-lasting lifestyle change that fixed the problem. I stacked a bunch of books on my desk and created a computer stand so that my computer would be at eye-level. Not only was I resourceful in this situation, but I recognized I needed to make a real lifestyle change and I committed to it in a practical, simple way. It wasn’t until last year that I actually bought a real computer stand. The same books served as my makeshift stand for 6 years!
2009 – My boyfriend broke up with me. This was devastating because we had been together for 4 years and had even made it through a lot of long distance. He was the only boyfriend I had ever had and I felt totally lost and confused at the thought of not having him in my life. I also realized that I had become really dependent on having him around and I sought help. I made a larger effort to make other friends and to create my own life. No worries, we got back together the next day and we’re getting married in August, but that one day was really a day of reckoning for me.
2010 – My episode of ridiculous pain had me clutching my side on my 21st birthday reminding everyone around me not to make me laugh lest I die. This was my “enough is enough” moment and I realized things needed to change. More lifestyle changes ensued, including me looking in a different direction for my career and literally cleansing my body, mind, and soul. I identified and got rid of the toxicity in my life and started anew.
2011 – I took my teacher training program and learned I love to teach.
2012 – My intuition told me I needed to move with my boyfriend from Boulder, CO, the one place I love more then my childhood home, to Wichita Falls, TX. If you’ve never heard of Wichita Falls, there’s a reason. I knew this would be one of the biggest growth opportunities for me personally, and also one of the most challenging years of my life. Turned out to be true on all accounts.
2013 – Moved to Arizona. Moving is just hard on all fronts.
2014 – Moved to Washington DC, see above.
And that brings us to today.
How the past and the future can helps us in the present moment
I share my own history not to brag or to say that I’m so awesome at overcoming adversity or anything like that because truly, my life hasn’t been that hard.
I write all this as an example and a template for you to do the same.
What got you to where you are today? What subtle shifts have you maybe never accounted for but when you look back now make sense? What pieces of the puzzle are you still missing? And when in your life have you gotten to that “enough is enough” point where you weren’t able to go on without committing to a massive shift?
Maybe you find yourself at that place today.
We reflect to understand how we got to be here, and while it’s not always useful to live in the past, it is helpful to acknowledge all of the decisions we’ve made so that we can accept the present moment.
Finally, we can look ahead and make better decisions moving forward once we’re truly grounded in where we are today.
Remember, you’re exactly where you need to be! Reach out to me if you have any insights you’d like to share. I’m always here to lend an ear. You know where to find me 🙂
Namaste!
