I’m starting a new cleanse program and this time I’m blogging about my experience all the way through. Although cleansing is very hard for me, I do it to ensure that I can continually make healthy choices for my body. I do it to experiment with how food makes me feel, to optimize my energy, and to better get to know myself. I also do it as often as I do to try and break my sugar addiction. Most of the time it’s a spiritually and mentally taxing experience.
This time around, I’m participating in the Conscious Cleanse with Jo Schaalman and Julie Peláez. Jo was a yoga teacher of mine back in Boulder and it’s been really fun watching her grow in her business.
This program is a little different from the ones I’ve done before in that both Jo and Julie emphasize making the choices that are right for you and your body. That might mean adding in non-cleanse-approved food from time to time if that’s what you’re body really needs. It’s not so much about being so restrictive as it is about making conscious decisions and understanding what you’re doing and why before every morsel of food goes into your mouth.
My intention for this cleanse is to nourish my soul. Although the cleanse doesn’t officially start until tomorrow, I’ve been participating in the optional “transition days” for the past five days to slowly wean myself off of the food demons. For the most part, these days have been fine for me, with the exception of yesterday when I ran my first ever 5k having never really trained or run much in the past 10 years. My body wasn’t pleased with me and I consciously chose to eat what I needed to get back on track.
Another thing Jo and Julie emphasize is that cleansing is a life-long process. I’ve seen this firsthand in my gradual transition to a more healthy way of life and eating and that’s why I want to share with you today why I’m not good at cleansing. Just because I do it more frequently then others doesn’t mean I’m really great at it and I want to share my own observations on why this is in hopes that you’ll see some of these traits in yourself as well and not be so afraid to cleanse in the future. I’m right there with you craving my cupcakes! So here it goes.
Why I’m Not Good At Cleansing
1. I play by the rules
As in I follow the instructions and recipes. I’ve learned to let things go over the years, but if more than two or three major ingredients are missing it’s a no-go for dinner. Onto the next recipe.
Which you would think is great except that:
2. I’m a rebel at heart
Not in the sense that I like to break the rules, more that the moment you take something away from me I want it, even if I don’t like it. For example, the first time I cleansed I found myself craving hamburgers. This from the same girl who got crazy looks her entire childhood when she turned down hamburgers at cookouts because I DIDN’T LIKE THEM. And there I found myself watching the Food Network’s Diners, Drive-ins and Dives…salivating over a Cuban – I also don’t eat pig.
But my worst personality trait may be that:
3. I’m incredibly impatient
This makes cooking really hard and not too enjoyable. That shouldn’t be a problem in a cleanse because if I’m eating mostly raw, I don’t have to cook much. In my experience, this is nice for breakfast, lunch and dinner but proves untrue in the snack category. When I need to grab something quick, I don’t have time to make hummus (yes, I know it’s quick and easy). I don’t even want to take the time to chop up some carrot sticks (yes, I know I could buy the packaged kind from the store, but that’s not in the RULES! (see # 1)).
I could just eat bigger meals at breakfast, lunch, and dinner so that I don’t have to worry about snacking but:
4. I’m a pitta
In Ayurveda this means I metabolize quickly and it’s best if I eat every couple hours to keep my energy levels stable. This also helps explain why I’m so impatient.
So then, it’s back to the whole
5.“I’m too busy” excuse
Besides the fact that I need quick snacks, I also know that the only way I can be successful at cleansing is if I plan way in advance. Unfortunately, I’m so busy that asking me to plan for one more thing way in advance just takes too much mental energy. Because of #4 I burn through my energy really quickly, meaning I need quick snacks, which makes me run into problem #3 and then there’s the biggest problem of all
6. I am absolutely addicted to sugar
Although I’ve never done drugs before in my life, I think I know how it must feel to try and get sober from a bad cocaine habit. It is the most painful, grueling, unpleasant physical, mental, and spiritual experience to rid yourself of a sugar addiction (or cocaine addiction, I presume). If there were rehab centers for sugar addictions (that’s a good idea for someone, by the way), I would be Lindsay Lohan in my sixth or seventh stint.
So why do I continue to cleanse?
Problem #
7. I’m an intensity junkie
I love a good challenge, even though I know it may make me miserable. I also know it’s good for me, I learn something new every time, I normally feel great at some point, and it’s satisfying to know I’m making healthy choices to support long-term longevity and the overall healthy lifestyle I aspire to live.
Sometimes I just wish Ben & Jerry’s fit in with my life goals on a more regular basis.
Beyond the Food
Part of cleansing involves slowing down and resting, which is exactly what I need. Except that I’m in the middle of a program launch, getting ready to move to a new state, looking for a place to live, and involved in about five different businesses right now.
If you haven’t realized yet, I cleanse because it’s what I need most. Most of the time, what we need most isn’t what we think we need, isn’t convenient, and is far from easy.
I’m still holding out on my theory that cleansing isn’t for everyone, but because of #7 I fail on the “everything in moderation” front most days. This is why I’m hoping that the Conscious Cleanse is the right program for me.
I still have a lot to learn about myself, my relationship to food, and my life and I’m hoping that my intention to nourish my soul will serve me on a deeper level than just how I decide what food to put in my mouth.
Now it’s time to go nourish my credit card at the grocery store.
Image credit: ConsciousCleanse.com
